It was 30th of September
years long from today.
Right before falling of dusk,
during a twilight I was born.
Papa mocks about newborn me,
says on the day I took birth,
I bitterly cried throughout the night
And neither did I sleep nor did I
let my father sleep. He took me in his lap,
and swing me, yet I didn’t stop shrieking.
I wonder if that was the only day
I relentlessly cried, incessantly.
Because till now, in my teens
I haven’t probably cried for that long.
Possibly because I’m shielding my insecurities,
strengthening my weakness, shunning disconcertment,
curbing all pent-up worries, anxiety and depression,
escaping from raging fear but it never leaves swiftly.
So as days passes by, we learn to cope with them,
we grow through it but we don’t let our fears enslave us.
Inspite of having a soft, timid side of me that is vulnerable
I never showed my tears in presence of people, nobody.
And my parents believes in me, their daughter is “strong”.
I always say to them, “I’m!” so as to let them stop worrying
about me, but they haven’t seen all the cursed nights,
their daughter has to go through so many mental breakdowns.
As, in the morning they always found a smiling face in me.
I kept brooding over the paradoxical view points,
of what my parents think I am and what I am in reality.
I got birth, crying but I don’t wish to die crying.
My tears are precious. They are our sterling strength.
And I wonder if my parents ever noticed my enigmatic smile.
For which even my tears ricochet.
~an impromptu poem for #NaPoWriMo day 29
Prompt Day 29: And here’s our prompt (optional, as always). In certain versions of the classic fairytale Sleeping Beauty, various fairies or witches are invited to a princess’s christening, and bring her gifts. One fairy/witch, however, is not invited, and in revenge for the insult, lays a curse on the princess. Today, I’d like to challenge you to write a poem in which you muse on the gifts you received at birth — whether they are actual presents, like a teddy bear, or talents – like a good singing voice – or circumstances – like a kind older brother, as well as a “curse” you’ve lived with (your grandmother’s insistence on giving you a new and completely creepy porcelain doll for every birthday, a bad singing voice, etc.). I hope you find this to be an inspiring avenue for poetic and self-exploration. https://www.napowrimo.net/day-twenty-nine-8/
The title of this poem is taken from a song by Taylor swift, very much my favorite. Although the lyrics doesn’t match with my poem’s intention but, since I like the title so I applied it in my poem and to my surprise it went through pretty coolly. Oh yes I literally cried terribly during the first night and from then onwards maybe my parents can’t recognise my tears lol. I mean I do not cry easily, and how embarrassing it is to cry in front of people, especially in front of my parents! I just can’t. And hiding away pain is quite natural though, as we don’t want them to worry about us but repressing these awful rage and bottling up conflicting emotions is even more dangerous. We must share with them, if not parents then friends prolly. Water in our body needs a way out, so may it be sweat or tears or pee it gets out eventually. Anyway, its penultimate day of Na/GloPoWriMo 2022 and just one day left! We’ll be back to our mundane lives and wait for the next year, wow it was all fun game! Well I’m really going to miss my readers for some time and specially the actively engaging participants of NaPoWriMo challenge. Have a good day.